i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Randomize
