I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
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Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
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