Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
Randomize
