no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
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