You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Randomize