So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
Randomize
