i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
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