FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
True college students do jello shots in the library
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