I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
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