his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
You're earring is so big in my mouth
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Randomize
