Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
