i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
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