The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
Randomize
