i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
Pregnant stripper...not hot.
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
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