He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
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