Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
