I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
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