That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Randomize
