Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
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