Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
Randomize
