Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
Randomize
