He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
Randomize
