How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
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