My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
That reminds me...we need to get swords
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
Randomize
