so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
I had to cum in my sink.
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