i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
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He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
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I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.