Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
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