He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
Randomize
