did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
Randomize
