what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
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