having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
