Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
