We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
Sorry about my life...
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
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