Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
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