operation harelip BJ is a go
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
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How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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