The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
apparently, "please pick me up from the airport" also means "i got drunk on the flight and need to give you roadhead in broad daylight"
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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