so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
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