But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
Randomize
