He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
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