Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
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nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
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Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
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