WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
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