it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
Randomize
