The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize
