can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
What a dumb baby whore.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
