I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
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