Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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