did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
We smell like vodka and hangover
Randomize
