I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
he was CRYING into my vagina
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
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