Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Randomize
