do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
