my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
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