i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
Randomize
