is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
Randomize
