Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
Randomize
