The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
Randomize
