All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
