what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
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