I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Randomize
