I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
