she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
