If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
Randomize
