Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
Randomize
